I don't like merging into left lanes. Because there's a blind spot, you have to turn your head and look to make sure there's no cars coming. I hate doing that - I hate taking my eyes off the road and looking behind me.
My youngest son learned to drive in our new car. This car has a side mirror with a smaller mirror in the top corner - a blind spot mirror. Lately, I've been trying to use that small mirror.
First, I have to get into the habit of just looking at the mirror.
Not only that, but I have to look "at the right time" at the exact moment when I need to look, right before I merge.
Second, I have to know what I'm looking for. When I see a small car in that mirror, a car that appears to be far away - well, that means "Don't merge!" That small car is actually right beside me.
Third, I have to trust what I see and to act on that trust.
It's not easy, but slowly I'm getting into the habit of using the mirror.
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Blind spots, mirrors, and trust - sin, sin, sin.
You see...I have a "blind spot" and it's called sin. Because of my sin, I don't look at situations properly.
Every day brings struggles and issues. And it's during trying times that I forget the truth of who I am; I forget what Jesus has done and what He means to me.
I'm prone to look in the wrong direction, to look back and to act like the Old Adam...to take my eyes off my God.
But, like looking at the blind spot mirror, I've been deliberately trying to look to God's Word when life goes awry.
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Psalm 119:105
And this isn't easy. The Old Adam is always quick to react, to make a judgment, or to respond in anger.
But the Old Testament Israelites knew and Jesus taught that...
"man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord." Deuteronomy 8:3
I don't have to do this alone or by my strength. And it begins by reading God's Word and "taking it in" every day.
All
Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for
reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16
And because I so often forget, so easily just react...I'm praying and trusting in Him to remind me to look to His Word especially when I struggle and am blinded by my sin.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
Amen.
Our confession from last Sunday's service began with:
We often grow angry with God's plans and activities in our world when we have no right to do so...let us first consider our sins...
As I reflected on my sins, I thought, "Do I feel repentant, or do I just want to hide my sins and hide from God?"
Our confession continued:
We have failed to live in righteousness, innocence, and blessedness. We hear your call to repent...
I thought of Adam hiding in the garden, and God calling to him, calling to me.
One of our readings that morning was the Acts passage about Ananias and Sapphira, the couple who tried to deceive the early church. And Peter told Ananias, "You have not lied to men but to God."
Again - trying to hide from God.
Several years ago, in a Lenten series on Psalm 51, Pastor expounded on David's elaborate scheme to hide his guilt. And then Pastor said, "David thought he had covered all his bases, as if God didn't know."
As if God didn't know...
Adam, Ananias, David, me...we lie to others, we pretend, scheme, and work things out to our own advantage...but God knows.
And
no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to
the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Hebrews 4:13
I think of that often - God knows.
He
knows all the feelings we have, the deceit and lies that we convey to others and
to ourselves, how we try to hide it all and even convince ourselves that
we're okay, that we're doing things right, and that we're justified.
But I think of myself, my flimsy clothes, my smile, my abilities...they don't hide my sins, my guilt, my weaknesses, and my shame before my God.
I can't pretend before Him.
O LORD, you have searched me and known me!
Psalm 139:1
But, when I do bare myself before my Lord, and admit my sinfulness and my tendency to justify myself...it's then that I know His mercy, His love, His forgiveness, and His peace.
I can't make it go away, but Jesus did and still does.
For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 2 Corinthians 5:21
From Sunday's Absolution:
But Christ rose from the grave, and death no longer has dominion over Him! God has called you His children and that is what you are.
We don't have to hide anymore, because we are His children.
For the past year, I've been working through Good and Angry. Author David Powlison's book counsels the reader on how to deal with negative feelings in a different way, a better way.
I recently reread the chapter Taking Your Anger Apart to Put You Back Together.
In this chapter, Powlison sets up a traffic jam scenario and gives eight questions for the reader to address - questions that he says could also be applied to other anger situations.
But really...traffic? I worked through it, but was disappointed. Why didn't he pick a situation that I could relate to, one closer to the root of my struggles?
The next morning, I had an early appointment. Not two minutes after I left the house, a car pulled in front of me, and I had to brake. Then another car did the same thing. And cars started slowing down; I stopped at every light.
"Are you kidding me???" came out of my mouth.
I was both aggravated and laughing at the same time!
And that's why Powlison's choice of a traffic jam is so applicable - practically everyone gets aggravated in traffic.
What I've learned is...I get angry and have negative reactions about many, many things - both small issues and major troubles. Some anger is caused by my own failures and sins. Some anger comes from what others do to me. And finally, this fallen world causes situations that lead to anger, through no one's fault.
And those negative feelings that I get every day, about all types of situations, even traffic - they boil down to one thing.
I want things to go my way; I want to have control; I want to be God. And I'm not.
Sin is the gist of everything that affects me; and, this side of heaven, it doesn't end.
Those feelings and emotions, that come from sinful me, are not easy to accept or deal with. But...
It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man. It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in princes. Psalm 118:8-9
Dealing with anger and negative emotions ultimately means accepting and even rejoicing that God is in charge, that He is my refuge, that Jesus is my comfort and my hope. It's learning to trust in Him.
And I pray that I remember and respond to that truth - whenever and always when things don't go my way.
The LORD is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; he knows those who take refuge in him. Nahum 1:7
Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. John 14:1
I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. John 16:33
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
Every spring, since we moved to Pennsylvania, we've had mallard ducks around our neighborhood and in our backyard. Frequently, we've even seen ducks sitting on the roof of a house.
But this year, a duck made it's nest right next to our porch. The nest can be seen from our front door.
My son searched online and found that mallards lay an egg every day or two, up to a dozen eggs. Once the eggs are all laid, the mother sits on the nest until the eggs hatch.
Not surprisingly, the habits and welfare of the duck have also become our concern.
Every morning for the past week, the mother duck has returned and stayed for a couple of hours, safe and asleep on her nest.
We look for her and count the eggs once she's gone.
Now, she's started adding leaves and grass to the nest, covering the eggs, so we can't count. Our last count was eight.
Lately, we've been using the garage door, not the front door, so we don't "spook" the mother.
We bought cracked corn, so the mother can eat once she starts sitting on the eggs full time.
And we're concerned that the stray cat that walks on our porch may eat the eggs, or that the hawk that sits on a nearby fence will snatch a duckling.
All this care from the Mokris family...for a duck.
My husband has been wondering, "Why did God send that duck to our house this year?"
And I just smile, because I know that my God cares for that duck and those eggs more than we do. Surely, Jesus also noticed and cared for the birds.
Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Matthew 6:26
I cherish these occasions when I see and experience the truth of God's Word around me - when I see that He cares for the birds.
And He cares for me. Are you not of more value than they?
Sometimes, really often, it's hard to believe that I'm valued, that He cares greatly for me. In the midst of my fear, my struggles, the unknown - He sees and He cares.
For you formed my inward parts; you covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them. Psalm 139:13-16
My Lord knows my needs, when I'm vulnerable to danger, and when I struggle with my faith. Daily, He gives me food and shelter. He forgives my sins, and He feeds me with His Word and His body and blood.
He gives me His rest and His peace.
We have a saying at our house called "The Circle of Suffering." It works something like this...I tell Joe that we need to go to the store; he tells our boys, "Your mother wants to go to the store. Be ready in an hour...Circle of Suffering."
Get the idea?!! Joe considers going to the store to be suffering. And he wants the boys to suffer along with him.
Of course, what always happens is...we enjoy the outing and enjoy being together. An activity that we considered a burden turns out to be a blessing.
"The Circle of Suffering..."
In this life, our suffering began in the garden with Adam and Eve.
...cursed is the ground because of you; in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life. Genesis 3:17
And now, we struggle just to survive and to find meaning in life. We try to do what's right, but we end up hurting and being hurt by each other. And we're haunted by failures. It seems never-ending.
Then, as if we're the "joke" in a bad movie, we get old, we get sick...and die. And, that completes our circle. The end...
But, it's not the end.
Every time I hear "Circle of Suffering" I think of Isaiah 53:
Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows... Isaiah 53:4a
At the right time, Jesus "took on flesh" and "jumped into" my circle of suffering, into the world's circle of suffering.
In this circle of suffering, Jesus saw it all - anger, hurt, sin, sickness, death. He was a Man of Sorrows.
Yet, while He was with them, Jesus fed people, healed them, taught and loved them. The people had hope...or so they thought.
But then, Jesus showed Himself as humble and weak.
...yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. Isaiah 53:b
And at the cross, Jesus was alone in His suffering - He took the wrath of God.
But...
What Thou, my Lord, hast suffered
Was all for sinners' gain.*
He suffered because He loves us. He suffered for the joy set before Him.
And Sunday morning, the tomb was empty. What seemed like defeat, was to our benefit. He is risen! He is risen indeed!
*from - O Sacred Head, Now Wounded
