Why I'm not a Calvinist...

"No LIP!"  That's my son Al's answer to the Lutheran position on the Five Points of Calvinism.  
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I first heard Calvinist teaching in my mid-30s.  I'd read the Bible many times, but, up to that point, my Christian faith was greatly influenced by popular books and Christian radio. 

Popular Christian teaching is "all over the place" with way too many ideas and concepts to grasp and bring together.

So, in 1999, after watching a Calvinist series on Predestination and Election, I was hooked.   

The Five Points of Calvinism, using the acrostic TULIP, explain salvation in a reasonable fashion that is also intellectually satisfying.  "Finally," I thought, "I understand God and salvation.  I have answers that make sense."  

And, icing on the cake, Reformed teachers said that Luther was in agreement with them.

Life was good...

The crack came when my oldest son Jake, 17 at the time, started worrying about his own salvation.  You can read his journey at:              OCD and the Lutheran Confessions.

Jake's question was, "What if, at some point, I'm going to leave my faith?  According to Calvinism, leaving my faith would mean that I never really believed.  So, how do I know that I really believe now?"  

Jake was looking for assurance.  In researching his question, I found that many other Calvinists, some with OCD, but many not, also had the same question, which boiled down to, "How do I know I'm saved?  Where's my assurance?"  

My journey away from Calvinism took a long time.  But, it came down to two points.

First, I recognized that Calvinism requires a lot of "mental gymnastics" to explain Bible verses that are inconsistent with the Five Points.  For instance, the Bible says that God...

...desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. 1 Timothy 2:4 

The Calvinist explains this by taking "all people" to mean all people groups, or people from various nations.  Calvinism does the same type of "explaining" with many other problematic verses.

In not following Calvinism, I'm now free to let God's Word speak for itself.  My faith doesn't depend on man's logic; I'm free from trying to "figure it all out."

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9

Second, Calvinism satisfies the intellect, but misses the human heart.  

And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26

When we're honest with ourselves, we know the hardness and darkness of our hearts.  

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:9 

God's Word affects and works on our hearts.   At some point, not sure how or when, my faith moved from my head and pierced my heart.  

Read the Psalms and then read them again.  God made us into emotional and passionate beings.  The Five Points of Calvinism don't address and don't comfort the human heart.
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My son Al is right.  We don't need any "LIP" (pun intended) to understand our faith.  It's really rather simple, and all of God's Word testifies to it:

I sin.  Jesus died for my sins, and He rose again.  I'm baptized. 
 

Don't Kill the Goat

Last week on Survivor, one of the tribes managed to catch a wild goat, which turned out to be a mother goat and her small kid.  Surprisingly, the tribe, though hungry, didn't kill and eat the female; they let mother and baby go free, saying they didn't want to "kill Bambi's mother."  

Perhaps their reason was to save "Bambi's mother" or maybe it was to avoid charges of animal cruelty.  But I also think the reality of killing a large animal likely "turned their stomachs."   
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The Old Testament frequently instructs on and records instances of animal sacrifices. 

Then the goats for the sin offering were brought to the king and the assembly, and they laid their hands on them, and the priests slaughtered them and made a sin offering with their blood on the altar, to make atonement for all Israel.                  2 Chronicles 29:23-24

When I read those "matter-of-fact" verses, I picture the priests having a clean, well-planned system for killing animals. 

But the actual killing of an animal is ugly, bloody, messy.  And those Bible sacrifices were performed for the forgiveness of sins, sins that are also ugly and messy.

Even kids, when they sin, do something wrong, they try to hide it, and lie about it, because they know that payment is required for sins, that punishment is coming.

And the punishment for childish misbehavior is just a foretaste of the ultimate punishment for sin - death.

For the wages of sin is death...Romans 6:23a

Just like those Survivors, the reality of death can "turn our stomachs."  And like that punishment for sins, it's coming...

But Jesus...a sacrifice was provided for our sins...and it was not pretty...

...he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed.  Isaiah 53:5

...but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 6:23b

I'm still surprised that, for whatever their reason, the Survivors didn't kill and eat the goat, that they showed compassion.  But I'm more grateful for and in awe of Jesus, who has compassion and love for us, who gave His life, who took our punishment, so that we have life, life eternal, with Him.

Remember Your Baptism**

Lutherans like to say, “Remember your baptism” meaning, “When you doubt, look to your baptism for your assurance of salvation.”


But, to many American Christians, “Remember your baptism” seems antiquated.  Salvation couldn't possibly have anything to do with getting wet. 

Today's Christian repents of sins, and decides or chooses to follow Jesus, to live a good Christian life.  Assurance is based on a decision and a desire of the heart.  Right?

I recently heard a young woman ask a well-known Christian, “How do I know if I'm saved, if I [still] have blasphemous thoughts?”  He said that the condition of her heart was to be her evidence - to look in her heart for her love for God and desire for Him. 

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:9

For anyone who's seriously doubted his own salvation, who's honestly examined his own heart - looking inward for that assurance, to a choice one makes, to how one feels...that's no comfort at all.

To look for assurance in my own heart - I see two perspectives.  I can have pride and confidence in my own ability to believe and to live as a good Christian.  Or, like the woman who questioned her salvation, I can despair, recognizing my heart's darkness and duplicity.

According to the Bible, God uses “means” to assure His people and to save them.

- To assure Abraham that he would possess the land, God passed through a blood path, making a type of blood oath.

- To mark the people for salvation at Passover, a lamb's blood was smeared on the doorpost.

- To seal the covenant at Mt. Sinai, Moses sprinkled blood on the Israelites. 

- To assure Gideon of victory, God used fleece.


And on and on...God's Word is filled with God using the physical to assure and to save.  We are physical beings, and we understand the physical.  

But grace is hard to grasp; grace isn't physical - and we get stuck.


The question becomes, “How do I get forgiveness?  How can I be assured that I'm saved, that I'm a Christian?”


I often ask people, “How do you know you're married?”  And the answer is always, “I had a wedding.”
 
So, to the question “How do I know I'm a Christian?” the answer is, “I'm baptized.”

Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned.   Mark 16:16

And Peter said to them, “Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.”  Acts 2:38

Baptism, which corresponds to this, now saves you, not as a removal of dirt from the body but as an appeal to God for a good conscience, through the resurrection of Jesus Christ.  1 Peter 3:21

...he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit...Titus 3:5

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word...Ephesians 5:25-26 

** I actually remember my baptism.  I was baptized in a Baptist church when I was 11.

To Always be a Plebe at Heart

When people hear that I'm a Naval Academy graduate and served as a Marine Corps Officer, they assume that my life is well-ordered and my house is spic-and-span.  Not true!  You see, I'm a plebe at heart.

Plebes at the Naval Academy are considered low-life, and they have an incredible amount of information to learn, rules to follow, and stuff to do.  I remember the moment I realized that it was impossible to be a good plebe.  My life went from "Struggling to be perfect and get it all done" to "It's okay to try, to fail, to just get by."  

When I gave up the perfection struggle, my failures and inabilities no longer bothered me.  I still tried hard, but I stopped dwelling on my mistakes and failures; I could laugh and not take myself so seriously.  Looking back - I rather enjoyed it.

As a plebe, I always looked forward to Friday afternoons.  Many of the upper class left for the weekend, and plebe life was more relaxed.  I thought of it as my Sabbath, similar to how the Jewish people cherished Friday evenings and the beginning of their Sabbath rest.  

Part of a plebes' required knowledge was to know the number of days until the next graduation.  While I looked forward to the end of plebe year, more eagerly, I was waiting for my graduation - it always seemed so far away, a day that would never come.

During my final year at the Academy, my roommate put numbered playing cards on our door, changing them daily, thereby noting and counting down our days until graduation.  May 23, 1984, is a defining day for me - I still remember arriving at Navy Marine Corps Memorial Stadium for graduation, knowing the day had come.

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My Christian life is much like being a plebe.  I try to be the perfect wife, mother, friend - to get everything done and to always respond to others with love.  And God's law requires even more.  But I can't do it, I make mistakes and hurt people; I always seem to be messing up.  And even if I could physically keep all His law, my heart is sinful, and I can't begin to fix that.  

But Jesus.  My God became a man and walked among us, He lived that perfect life, died for my failures and my inability to be perfect, and He rose again...for me.  

Because of Jesus and my faith and trust in Him - I am free to be a part of His church, to try, to struggle, to fail.  I am free to be a child in His household, to look to God as My Father, to know I'm loved, accepted, and forgiven.  

And on weekends, just like a plebe, I look forward to relaxing, to letting go of the week's struggles.  It's a time to rest, to enjoy and worship with my church family, to be refreshed with God's Word and Sacraments.

But ultimately, I look forward to that day when there's no more hurt, no more tears, no more death.  Like graduation, that day is coming.  Until then, I'll try to stay a plebe at heart.