As I was waiting in a church lobby to serve at a military funeral, the church service ended, and the son of the man who had passed away started talking about his father. I felt like a "fly on the wall" listening in to a very private conversation.
The son told how his father had always worked hard, had served people, done the right thing, and never tried to draw attention to himself. His father loved his mother, and he told his sons that, if a boat ever went down, the boys had better know how to swim, because the father was saving their mother.
The son said that he'd always wanted to be like his father. But he admitted that he'd never seen his father cry, and his father had never told him that he loved him. And, he, the son, had never spoken those words of love to his father.
Again - "fly on the wall."
And I started thinking about my own life, my family, and the people I know.
My sons know we love them, and my husband and I tell them that. But I know we miss times, in the midst of conflict or stress, to reassure them of that love.
And, as much as I'd want my husband to put my life first, he'd better be saving my drowning son, and leave me to fend for myself. (I am a Naval Academy trained swimmer!)
But the truth is, no matter our situations, we all get that feeling of "not loved" or "not valued enough." And we get it even though we may be told that we're loved or even shown that we're loved.
We're needy, sinful, hurting people.
But for Jesus...
While He was with them, Jesus told His disciples of His love for them.
As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. John 15:9
And in His Word we also read, we hear, and we know of His love for us.
Jesus showed His disciples His love for them by dying on the cross, by saving them...and by saving us...by saving me.
This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. John 15:12-13
Life's hard. It's hard when you feel alone and not loved. And there's times when it's really hard to love other people. But our hope and our trust, my hope and my trust, is in the One who loves me, the One who laid down His life for me, the One who's promised to come again.
It's in Him, in Jesus, that I know I'm loved, and it's because of Him and His love, that I can love other people, both in word and in deed.
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 1 John 4:7
I was at my monthly Veterans Honor Guard Meeting, and the Commander of the Guard, John, a Navy vet, opened the meeting with something new. He called it, "I have seen the light."
John asked for Paul and I, both of us Marines, to stand up. I looked at Paul and started laughing. Paul was wearing a "Navy Grandpa" shirt, and I was wearing a Naval Academy sweatshirt.
In John's opinion, we two Marines had "seen the light" and were now supporting Navy!
"I have seen the light." It means to understand something that you didn't understand before, especially something you were confused or skeptical about.
And it's such a Christian thing to say, or rather, to feel and be aware of.
Before Christ, before His Word, His truth, and His forgiveness were made known to me and given to me, I was in darkness. I didn't understand, and I didn't even know that I didn't understand. Isaiah describes us as...
The people who walked in darkness...Isaiah 9:2a
The crazy thing is, walking in darkness is easy. It's a "going along with the ways of the world in a manner that pleases me and seems good to me." In a sense, it's being my own god.
But when the truth of the gospel is made known to a person, when the light of Jesus shines in my life, my heart, my brain, my very being - then something changes. I see and am aware of my sin and my salvation, my Savior.
In reading and teaching from Isaiah, Jesus says:
The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to
proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to
the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty
those who are oppressed. Luke 4:18
Jesus likens His good news to a blind person literally gaining the ability to see, and He even gives us that "picture" by healing a blind person, giving that person sight.
And it's an amazing thing to recognize and mourn my own sin, while at the same time being comforted and knowing that all is forgiven through Jesus - to see the light.
St. Paul, in his writings to the churches, refers to this seeing. And he recognizes that, at this time, it's not complete; that while we see the good news of Jesus and rejoice in our salvation, we don't yet see it clearly and perfectly.
For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in
part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:12
And I agree with Paul. In this life, I'm always going to sin, to fall short, to fail. I don't always do the right thing, and sometimes I don't even know what that right thing is.
But the light is still there in His Word.
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Psalm 119:105
The same light is there to share with others...
...to open their eyes, so that they may turn from darkness to light and
from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of
sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in [Jesus]. Acts 26:18
And that light is promised in Revelation.
And the city has no need of sun or moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and its lamp is the Lamb. Revelation 21:23
I have seen the light, and it's Jesus.
When I was a Marine First Lieutenant, stationed at Parris Island, South Carolina, one of my husband's close friends was Mike Ettore, a Marine Captain also stationed at Parris Island. I occasionally talked to Mike - he was in charge of all the Rifle Ranges. And although I really didn't know him, I knew that Mike had a reputation among the other officers - and whether you liked him or not, you respected him.
Last fall, I saw that Mike wrote a book - Trust-Based Leadership. And the book packs a wallop in both substance and weight. It's one of the heaviest paperbacks I've ever read!
Mike is a decorated combat veteran who, after his military service, became a leader in the business world. One would expect that his book would be about being rugged and gritty, about a person who can stand fearless in front of a group, who's the ugliest and scariest fighter around, ready to lead his Marines into combat.
Or, people might think that military leadership is about being popular with the troops, always being right, and having lots of awards.
But very early in the book, Mike makes the point that "the average Marine leader is much more flexible, agile-minded, and 'business-ready' than the stereotypes promoted by Hollywood movies or the individuals who harbor...anti-military bias would have you believe." (page 12)
And surprisingly, he states what I also believe, that "Leaders exist solely to serve and enable those whom they are privileged to lead," and that "Leadership is always about service." (page 43)
And this is nothing new. Jesus also taught good leadership in the same manner.
But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. Matthew 20:26–28
Likewise, Paul wrote:
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Philippians 2:3
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Romans 12:10
Mike also compares leadership to parenting, echoing General Lejeune who taught "a parental relationship based on care, service, camaraderie, and mutual respect." (page 78)
I
always tell people that when I was a Battalion Supply Officer at Camp
Pendleton, I had about 15 Marines, and I was their mother. At the same
time, my husband was a Battalion Motor Transport Officer, he had about
60 Marines, and he was their mother.
During that time, I know that I cared deeply for my Marines. I wanted them to learn and do well, and become independent, so they wouldn't even need me. That was my goal.
Leadership really does come down to:
- Having a high degree of personal integrity and character
- Being knowledgeable and proficient in your area
- And especially caring for and respecting your people, training and developing them
I like how Mike states it, "If you show people that you care about them - that you truly care- they'll usually respond in kind." (page 92)
