The current season of Survivor just ended, and the big news wasn't the winner. This season a player was removed from the game for inappropriate behavior, by making a crew member and another player feel uncomfortable through unwanted touching.
The interaction between the players on Survivor has always fascinated me, because the show portrays people as they really are - compassionate but conniving, self-centered, looking for connections, striving to win while wanting to be liked. People are complicated, and the show is never a Hallmark movie.
Questions to consider:
1. Was there behavior that might have made someone feel ill at ease? And does this same conduct often happen in society, in the workplace, at social events, maybe even at church?
2. What should the person's response be, the person who feels violated?
3. How should we handle these situations?
In today's society, everybody's a victim, and innocent actions get blown-up into major conflicts. On this season of Survivor, I did note one scene that really seemed to support the accusation of questionable behavior.
But the truth is, interactions among people are complicated and not always clear-cut. One person may be offended by a certain behavior, and another person may find that same conduct innocent or even attractive.
Likewise, people can make other people feel uncomfortable, sometimes with playfulness and sometimes with evil intentions. Many people probably don't even recognize borderline or abusive behavior in themselves or in those they work closely with.
But we live in a sinful world. We're sinful people, and we can't deny our sinful nature.
None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. Romans 3:10-11
Our sinful nature is there in how we treat one another, and it's there in our quickness to judge and condemn another person.
The loving response from someone who feels violated is first, to speak up, either to the person or to a superior. And second, the offended person should consider showing mercy and allowing the benefit of the doubt, forgiving the other person.
...and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Colossians 3:13
But the ultimate responsibility in these situations falls with the leader, the person in charge, the one entrusted to protect others. Unfortunately when actual abuse is occurring, many times leadership is slow to react and makes a victim feel worse by saying, "They didn't mean it that way. It's just you and your perception."
Leadership is there to serve and to protect the weak. People look to their leaders for help, for someone to listen, to understand, to make it better.
Additionally, a leader has to protect the one being accused as there's always a very real possibility that the accusation is false.
Like I said, people are complicated; relationships are complicated.
It's why Jesus came, because we're sinful people living in a fallen world, and we need a savior.
He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to
sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. 1 Peter 2:24
And until that Day when Jesus returns, we'll live with and deal with the consequences of our sin, learning to forgive and to love one another, and learning to trust Him in and through it all.
Over the years and through many moves, we've attended churches that have both a traditional and a contemporary service. Although our music preference has changed from church to church, the service's music is an important consideration in deciding which service to attend.
When we lived in North Carolina, we regularly attended an evening service at a local Presbyterian Church, not our home church. For the music at this service, the pastor took members' requests, and all the kids would raise their hands wanting to sing their favorite hymns! There was a 5-year-old boy who always requested Stricken, Smitten, and Afflicted.
My family was blessed and moved by this singing to such an extent that we incorporated hymn singing into our nightly devotions. One of my sons recently remembered how that church was where we first enjoyed singing hymns.
There's something about singing God's Word and truth that gladdens the heart. Singing gives praise and thanks to God, but it's also a nourishing, an encouraging, and a faith building practice.
Some of our family favorites include:
- Rock of Ages
- Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing
- Be Thou My Vision
- Lift High the Cross
- Jesus Shall Reign
- And Can It Be
- Thy Strong Word
- Lord Keep Us Steadfast in Thy Word
The music we listen to and the songs we sing make a difference in our lives and influence us to a degree that most people don't even realize. Music sticks with a person. Think of a favorite sitcom from the 60s or 70s, and I bet you can recall the theme song!
That being said, here are my random thoughts on church music.
1. Worshipers really do want to sing and participate. People are uncomfortable when they're unable to sing the songs during a service.
2. Some people just love organ music, and some people want a service with upbeat music. I think the instruments should be a secondary consideration, as neither the organ nor the guitar/keyboard stands alone to make a good singing experience.
3. Some traditional hymns are played too slowly, too fast, or the organ is too loud. Worshipers should be able to hear the singing along with the music.
4. Contemporary music is sometimes too loud, or the song choices are difficult to sing. Many contemporary Christians songs are meant to be performed, not sung in corporate worship.
5. But there are many singable contemporary songs that are rich in meaning.
6. Likewise, there are some traditional hymns that are difficult to sing.
7. Familiarity and repetition are good! Songs are learned that way, and they get into our very being when we learn them and sing them again and again.
But above all these thoughts - the songs should convey the gospel message, that Jesus, that our God, came in the flesh, lived among us, and died for the forgiveness of our sins and for our salvation. That's the substance of our faith that we need to hear, to sing, and to know.
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Colossians 3:16
There's a new show on CBS called Evil. The main characters are a psychologist and a Catholic priest, and they investigate "supposed miracles, demonic possessions and other extraordinary occurrences...examining the origins of evil."
While the description sounds okay, the show's previews were enough to give me nightmares - Evil. My reaction was, "That looks creepy. Who would watch it?"
On a higher level, I consider, "Where do people think up this stuff? What does this say about us?"
I just finished a historical book set during World War II. During that time, people seemed to take pleasure in mistreating, degrading, and having power over others.
And I'm bothered by this evil and the inhumanity of it, and that it still goes on today.
Again, "What does this say about us? How do we explain this evil in our very beings?"
We live in a fallen world, a broken world. And we want to know that we matter, that we're as good as the next person, that we have purpose, that we're okay, that people listen, that somebody loves us - all of that and more.
At the heart of it all, it's about having control in life, being in power. It's about wanting to be "somebody." From the little bitty things, to the big atrocities, it's about wanting to be god, to be the most important, to win.
And while I can't equate Nazi horrors, murders, torture, and abuse with our daily jealousies, relationship issues, and personal selfishness, I recognize that they're all symptoms of our sin, of my sin.
Examining the origins of evil isn't difficult. As Satan told Eve:
For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil. Genesis 3:5
Wanting to be like God, being like God. Wouldn't that solve everything for us?
No, it wouldn't.
...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, Romans 3:23
We all have sin and have evil in our hearts, in our very being. We sin against others, and we're sinned against.
Our only hope is in Jesus, of our rebirth in Him, forgiveness of sins through Him, and hope in the new life.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9
[Jesus] has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. Colossians 1:13–14
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. John 1:5
Jesus is the light, and He has overcome the darkness, the evil in this world.
