Have you ever thought about "what you think about" throughout your day?
I recently finished reading The Sound and the Fury - a novel which I've attempted to read many, many times. The Sound and the Fury is a "stream of consciousness" novel - a story that's told through someone's thoughts.
The difficulty in reading a "stream of consciousness" novel is that the actual story line is "mixed-in" with all the other story-teller's "thoughts." These "thoughts" might be past events, future events, dreams, conversations...just anything that's going on in the narrator's head.
Reading these novels can be very confusing, as the story-teller's thoughts and focus are constantly shifting.
I've also been reading and studying Speaking the Truth in Love by David Powlison. Powlison considers how, on a sleepless night, a person's thoughts are "all over the place." He suggests that, at these times, a person should think on God's Word, and pray.
In considering Powlison's suggestion, I ask myself, "Is there a way that my daily 'stream of consciousness' can be spoken to God?" In other words, I'd be addressing all my random and mixed thoughts to God.
While I'm sure that's not totally possible, I know that I can do a better job of turning my thought life into prayers.
For instance...
- Instead of playing a relationship conflict over and over in my mind, I can tell the Lord what happened, pray to let go of the hurt, and pray for reconciliation.
- Instead of worrying through a problem, I can address the problem to the Lord and ask for His help.
- Instead of rehearsing an upcoming encounter, I can say to the Lord, "I think I should handle it this way..." and then explain to Him what I plan to say or do.
I know that I'll have to continually "catch myself" when I start "stream of consciousness" thinking, and I'll have to make an effort to transform those thoughts into prayers.
But I also know that praying to God is not as easy as it seems. I can't just add a "Dear God" to my thought, because...as David says:
O LORD, you have searched me and known me...you discern my thoughts from afar..and are acquainted with all my ways. Psalm 139:1-3In standing before God's throne, I'm aware of my own sin. I have to pray "without guile" because I can't deceive Him. He knows me.
And I'm forced to look at my own heart. It requires effort and can be painful. I don't like to admit my own guilt and shortcomings. Who does?
But...Jesus.
He has taken that guilt away, and freed my heart to see clearly, to confess, and to love.
David ends that Psalm with:
Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! Psalm 139:23-24And the way He leads may seem painful, but He means it to be free and light.
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:28-29Amen.
I'm glad you wrote this, because I was actually thinking about this yesterday: as you know, I invest a lot of energy in thinking through things, yet I don't pray as much as I should - even though that thinking often involves analyzing my own behavior and sins. I think I feel like it's scarier to talk to God about them sometimes; other times I feel like I can't pray because I haven't figured out how to repent of whatever it is I'm thinking about. What helps me is to realize that my mind is puny compared to God's, and he understands whatever it is I'm confused about (Hebrews 4:15). Our culture's emphasis on individuality and reason teaches us to think we ought to be able to solve every problem ourselves; in contrast, the Christian knows - and is comforted - that some things are God's domain, and outside our ability to work out.
ReplyDeleteHi Jake. Don't remember if I told you that I finally finished The Sound and the Fury. One part I edited out was about how this could become legalistic, not only in overthinking, but in not praying often enough or ideally.
DeleteYes, you mentioned to me that you finished The Sound and the Fury.
DeleteThe way I do it is to overthink by worrying that I'm being legalistic overthinking! (And I'm not kidding either.) But anyway, yes: your suggestion of praying your thoughts is an idea - a suggestion, and not a law. The thing to do is think of such things as potentially good and useful, and not as necessary. All the same, I do think we're required to pray regularly, and I still haven't made myself do so, so allow me that criticism of myself.