When people hear that I'm a Naval Academy graduate and served as a Marine Corps Officer, they assume that my life is well-ordered and my house is spic-and-span. Not true! You see, I'm a plebe at heart.
Plebes at the Naval Academy are considered low-life, and they have an incredible amount of information to learn, rules to follow, and stuff to do. I remember the moment I realized that it was impossible to be a good plebe. My life went from "Struggling to be perfect and get it all done" to "It's okay to try, to fail, to just get by."
When I gave up the perfection struggle, my failures and inabilities no longer bothered me. I still tried hard, but I stopped dwelling on my mistakes and failures; I could laugh and not take myself so seriously. Looking back - I rather enjoyed it.
As a plebe, I always looked forward to Friday afternoons. Many of the upper class left for the weekend, and plebe life was more relaxed. I thought of it as my Sabbath, similar to how the Jewish people cherished Friday evenings and the beginning of their Sabbath rest.
Part of a plebes' required knowledge was to know the number of days until the next graduation. While I looked forward to the end of plebe year, more eagerly, I was waiting for my graduation - it always seemed so far away, a day that would never come.
During my final year at the Academy, my roommate put numbered playing cards on our door, changing them daily, thereby noting and counting down our days until graduation. May 23, 1984, is a defining day for me - I still remember arriving at Navy Marine Corps Memorial Stadium for graduation, knowing the day had come.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My Christian life is much like being a plebe. I try to be the perfect wife, mother, friend - to get everything done and to always respond to others with love. And God's law requires even more. But I can't do it, I make mistakes and hurt people; I always seem to be messing up. And even if I could physically keep all His law, my heart is sinful, and I can't begin to fix that.
But Jesus. My God became a man and walked among us, He lived that perfect life, died for my failures and my inability to be perfect, and He rose again...for me.
Because of Jesus and my faith and trust in Him - I am free to be a part of His church, to try, to struggle, to fail. I am free to be a child in His household, to look to God as My Father, to know I'm loved, accepted, and forgiven.
And on weekends, just like a plebe, I look forward to relaxing, to letting go of the week's struggles. It's a time to rest, to enjoy and worship with my church family, to be refreshed with God's Word and Sacraments.
But ultimately, I look forward to that day when there's no more hurt, no more tears, no more death. Like graduation, that day is coming. Until then, I'll try to stay a plebe at heart.
No comments:
Post a Comment