As I was waiting in a church lobby to serve at a military funeral, the church service ended, and the son of the man who had passed away started talking about his father. I felt like a "fly on the wall" listening in to a very private conversation.
The son told how his father had always worked hard, had served people, done the right thing, and never tried to draw attention to himself. His father loved his mother, and he told his sons that, if a boat ever went down, the boys had better know how to swim, because the father was saving their mother.
The son said that he'd always wanted to be like his father. But he admitted that he'd never seen his father cry, and his father had never told him that he loved him. And, he, the son, had never spoken those words of love to his father.
Again - "fly on the wall."
And I started thinking about my own life, my family, and the people I know.
My sons know we love them, and my husband and I tell them that. But I know we miss times, in the midst of conflict or stress, to reassure them of that love.
And, as much as I'd want my husband to put my life first, he'd better be saving my drowning son, and leave me to fend for myself. (I am a Naval Academy trained swimmer!)
But the truth is, no matter our situations, we all get that feeling of "not loved" or "not valued enough." And we get it even though we may be told that we're loved or even shown that we're loved.
We're needy, sinful, hurting people.
But for Jesus...
While He was with them, Jesus told His disciples of His love for them.
As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. John 15:9
And in His Word we also read, we hear, and we know of His love for us.
Jesus showed His disciples His love for them by dying on the cross, by saving them...and by saving us...by saving me.
This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. John 15:12-13
Life's hard. It's hard when you feel alone and not loved. And there's times when it's really hard to love other people. But our hope and our trust, my hope and my trust, is in the One who loves me, the One who laid down His life for me, the One who's promised to come again.
It's in Him, in Jesus, that I know I'm loved, and it's because of Him and His love, that I can love other people, both in word and in deed.
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 1 John 4:7
I was at my monthly Veterans Honor Guard Meeting, and the Commander of the Guard, John, a Navy vet, opened the meeting with something new. He called it, "I have seen the light."
John asked for Paul and I, both of us Marines, to stand up. I looked at Paul and started laughing. Paul was wearing a "Navy Grandpa" shirt, and I was wearing a Naval Academy sweatshirt.
In John's opinion, we two Marines had "seen the light" and were now supporting Navy!
"I have seen the light." It means to understand something that you didn't understand before, especially something you were confused or skeptical about.
And it's such a Christian thing to say, or rather, to feel and be aware of.
Before Christ, before His Word, His truth, and His forgiveness were made known to me and given to me, I was in darkness. I didn't understand, and I didn't even know that I didn't understand. Isaiah describes us as...
The people who walked in darkness...Isaiah 9:2a
The crazy thing is, walking in darkness is easy. It's a "going along with the ways of the world in a manner that pleases me and seems good to me." In a sense, it's being my own god.
But when the truth of the gospel is made known to a person, when the light of Jesus shines in my life, my heart, my brain, my very being - then something changes. I see and am aware of my sin and my salvation, my Savior.
In reading and teaching from Isaiah, Jesus says:
The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to
proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to
the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty
those who are oppressed. Luke 4:18
Jesus likens His good news to a blind person literally gaining the ability to see, and He even gives us that "picture" by healing a blind person, giving that person sight.
And it's an amazing thing to recognize and mourn my own sin, while at the same time being comforted and knowing that all is forgiven through Jesus - to see the light.
St. Paul, in his writings to the churches, refers to this seeing. And he recognizes that, at this time, it's not complete; that while we see the good news of Jesus and rejoice in our salvation, we don't yet see it clearly and perfectly.
For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in
part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:12
And I agree with Paul. In this life, I'm always going to sin, to fall short, to fail. I don't always do the right thing, and sometimes I don't even know what that right thing is.
But the light is still there in His Word.
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Psalm 119:105
The same light is there to share with others...
...to open their eyes, so that they may turn from darkness to light and
from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of
sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in [Jesus]. Acts 26:18
And that light is promised in Revelation.
And the city has no need of sun or moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and its lamp is the Lamb. Revelation 21:23
I have seen the light, and it's Jesus.
When I was a Marine First Lieutenant, stationed at Parris Island, South Carolina, one of my husband's close friends was Mike Ettore, a Marine Captain also stationed at Parris Island. I occasionally talked to Mike - he was in charge of all the Rifle Ranges. And although I really didn't know him, I knew that Mike had a reputation among the other officers - and whether you liked him or not, you respected him.
Last fall, I saw that Mike wrote a book - Trust-Based Leadership. And the book packs a wallop in both substance and weight. It's one of the heaviest paperbacks I've ever read!
Mike is a decorated combat veteran who, after his military service, became a leader in the business world. One would expect that his book would be about being rugged and gritty, about a person who can stand fearless in front of a group, who's the ugliest and scariest fighter around, ready to lead his Marines into combat.
Or, people might think that military leadership is about being popular with the troops, always being right, and having lots of awards.
But very early in the book, Mike makes the point that "the average Marine leader is much more flexible, agile-minded, and 'business-ready' than the stereotypes promoted by Hollywood movies or the individuals who harbor...anti-military bias would have you believe." (page 12)
And surprisingly, he states what I also believe, that "Leaders exist solely to serve and enable those whom they are privileged to lead," and that "Leadership is always about service." (page 43)
And this is nothing new. Jesus also taught good leadership in the same manner.
But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. Matthew 20:26–28
Likewise, Paul wrote:
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Philippians 2:3
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Romans 12:10
Mike also compares leadership to parenting, echoing General Lejeune who taught "a parental relationship based on care, service, camaraderie, and mutual respect." (page 78)
I
always tell people that when I was a Battalion Supply Officer at Camp
Pendleton, I had about 15 Marines, and I was their mother. At the same
time, my husband was a Battalion Motor Transport Officer, he had about
60 Marines, and he was their mother.
During that time, I know that I cared deeply for my Marines. I wanted them to learn and do well, and become independent, so they wouldn't even need me. That was my goal.
Leadership really does come down to:
- Having a high degree of personal integrity and character
- Being knowledgeable and proficient in your area
- And especially caring for and respecting your people, training and developing them
I like how Mike states it, "If you show people that you care about them - that you truly care- they'll usually respond in kind." (page 92)
Yesterday afternoon I served at a military funeral, and it was cold. The wind chill was 20°, and beforehand we were all sitting in our cars waiting for the funeral procession to arrive. I was restless, so I put my overcoat on and got out of the car.
I was parked near a barren field on the edge of the cemetery, and the sun was starting to get low. I stood there, looking over the field, feeling the biting wind, and I started to pray.
I prayed about the things on my mind; I prayed some scripture; I prayed the Lord's Prayer. And as I stood there miserably cold and amidst the dead, I was alone with my Lord, my God, and I thought, "At this moment, there's no place I'd rather be than right here." It was a moment of pure contentment.
From Sunday's sermon notes, I have written, "People are looking for something that's real, true, and deep." That's so accurate. It seems that people are always searching for fulfillment in life, for satisfaction, enjoyment, entertainment.
We even make "bucket lists" of things to do or places to visit before we die, as if doing those things will make our lives complete and meaningful.
Or maybe it's that entertainment and fun is all a distraction that helps us forget that life is hard and we all face death. I don't know.
I do know that all the "stuff of life" pales in comparison to the Lord, to His Word, His truth, His promise to be with me, to hear my prayers, to forgive my sins...His promise of eternal life.
How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD of hosts!
My soul longs, yes, faints for the courts of the LORD;
my heart and flesh sing for joy to the living God.
Psalm 84:1–2
I know this to be true. He's right there.
When I thought, “My foot slips,”
your steadfast love, O LORD, held me up.
When the cares of my heart are many,
your consolations cheer my soul.
Psalm 94:18–19
I often plan to spend time in prayer, in Bible reading, and I always think, "I'll get to it in a bit," only to never "get to it." But I've learned it's best to seize those moments to pray, to spend time with the Lord whenever and wherever the opportunity exists.
Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!
Oh, fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear him have no lack!
Psalm 34:8–9
For a few months now, I've been working on materials for our church's upcoming Capital Campaign. And because I've been in this "stewardship" mindset, I've also been pondering my own journey in giving.
When we were newly married, my husband scheduled a meeting for us with the Navy Chaplain who was assigned to his Marine Battalion. My husband had become good friends with this Chaplain, and I thought I was just going to meet him. But it was more of a marriage counseling session.
And the only part I remember was the part about money. He said, "Now one of you is going to be the spender, and one you of is going to be the saver."
My husband and I looked at each other and laughed! We already knew that, and we knew that I'm the saver, or more appropriately, the one who's always reluctant to spend, the miser.
But through the years I've learned to start trusting the Lord in this area, and I've learned to start being generous.
When I first began working on this Campaign, my attitude was more practical - How should the Campaign be organized? and How do we best get information to church members?
When the words Stewardship and Capital Campaign are mentioned, people almost immediately think, "The church is always asking for money," or "The church always wants to build something."
I was avoiding those two topics and just doing the work that needed to be done. And I wasn't thinking about stewardship in any new way or much at all. But, as in every situation, God's Word comes into my heart and my mind and impacts my life and my thinking.
My personal Bible readings for the past few months have been in the books of First and Second Chronicles and Exodus.
In Chronicles, while reading about the various good and bad kings, I came across this note in the Lutheran Study Bible:
Building projects are characteristic of faithful kings.
Now that's interesting. I'd never made the connection that the good and faithful kings of Judah were involved in building projects.
The faithful king I immediately think of is Hezekiah, the one who built the tunnel to bring water into the city. I recall that other kings also made repairs to the temple. And the books of Ezra and Nehemiah cover the rebuilding of the temple and the city walls.
Who knew? There's actually a Biblical basis to undertake church building projects.
So onto my readings in Exodus - I was plowing through the specifications on building the tabernacle and all the items associated with the tabernacle. And then the actual building of the tabernacle repeats those same instructions, and this goes on for chapters and chapters.
And in the midst of these instructions I read this:
And they received from Moses all the contribution that the people of Israel had brought...They [the people] still kept bringing him freewill offerings every morning, so that all the craftsmen...came...and said to Moses, "The people bring much more than enough for doing the work that the LORD has commanded us to do." Exodus 36:3-5
The people were joyously and generously giving to build the Lord's tabernacle. They found it a blessing to give and to keep giving to such a degree that they had to be told to stop giving.
Giving is a blessing. I know this to be true. We give knowing that everything we have is already a gift from Him.
God's Word has literally changed my thinking about this Campaign. I no longer see the undertaking as just work, or hope that someone would donate all the needed funds, or pray that we'd win the lottery.
A faithful people will repair, renovate, and enhance their buildings. A faithful people will know and continue to grow in the joy and the blessings and benefits of giving. They'll desire to give more.
My prayer is that this campaign is a positive, faith-building experience for everyone, that we learn to trust the Lord, and know the joy and blessings of giving.
That's the real "building" of the church.
The current season of Survivor just ended, and the big news wasn't the winner. This season a player was removed from the game for inappropriate behavior, by making a crew member and another player feel uncomfortable through unwanted touching.
The interaction between the players on Survivor has always fascinated me, because the show portrays people as they really are - compassionate but conniving, self-centered, looking for connections, striving to win while wanting to be liked. People are complicated, and the show is never a Hallmark movie.
Questions to consider:
1. Was there behavior that might have made someone feel ill at ease? And does this same conduct often happen in society, in the workplace, at social events, maybe even at church?
2. What should the person's response be, the person who feels violated?
3. How should we handle these situations?
In today's society, everybody's a victim, and innocent actions get blown-up into major conflicts. On this season of Survivor, I did note one scene that really seemed to support the accusation of questionable behavior.
But the truth is, interactions among people are complicated and not always clear-cut. One person may be offended by a certain behavior, and another person may find that same conduct innocent or even attractive.
Likewise, people can make other people feel uncomfortable, sometimes with playfulness and sometimes with evil intentions. Many people probably don't even recognize borderline or abusive behavior in themselves or in those they work closely with.
But we live in a sinful world. We're sinful people, and we can't deny our sinful nature.
None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. Romans 3:10-11
Our sinful nature is there in how we treat one another, and it's there in our quickness to judge and condemn another person.
The loving response from someone who feels violated is first, to speak up, either to the person or to a superior. And second, the offended person should consider showing mercy and allowing the benefit of the doubt, forgiving the other person.
...and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Colossians 3:13
But the ultimate responsibility in these situations falls with the leader, the person in charge, the one entrusted to protect others. Unfortunately when actual abuse is occurring, many times leadership is slow to react and makes a victim feel worse by saying, "They didn't mean it that way. It's just you and your perception."
Leadership is there to serve and to protect the weak. People look to their leaders for help, for someone to listen, to understand, to make it better.
Additionally, a leader has to protect the one being accused as there's always a very real possibility that the accusation is false.
Like I said, people are complicated; relationships are complicated.
It's why Jesus came, because we're sinful people living in a fallen world, and we need a savior.
He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to
sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. 1 Peter 2:24
And until that Day when Jesus returns, we'll live with and deal with the consequences of our sin, learning to forgive and to love one another, and learning to trust Him in and through it all.
Over the years and through many moves, we've attended churches that have both a traditional and a contemporary service. Although our music preference has changed from church to church, the service's music is an important consideration in deciding which service to attend.
When we lived in North Carolina, we regularly attended an evening service at a local Presbyterian Church, not our home church. For the music at this service, the pastor took members' requests, and all the kids would raise their hands wanting to sing their favorite hymns! There was a 5-year-old boy who always requested Stricken, Smitten, and Afflicted.
My family was blessed and moved by this singing to such an extent that we incorporated hymn singing into our nightly devotions. One of my sons recently remembered how that church was where we first enjoyed singing hymns.
There's something about singing God's Word and truth that gladdens the heart. Singing gives praise and thanks to God, but it's also a nourishing, an encouraging, and a faith building practice.
Some of our family favorites include:
- Rock of Ages
- Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing
- Be Thou My Vision
- Lift High the Cross
- Jesus Shall Reign
- And Can It Be
- Thy Strong Word
- Lord Keep Us Steadfast in Thy Word
The music we listen to and the songs we sing make a difference in our lives and influence us to a degree that most people don't even realize. Music sticks with a person. Think of a favorite sitcom from the 60s or 70s, and I bet you can recall the theme song!
That being said, here are my random thoughts on church music.
1. Worshipers really do want to sing and participate. People are uncomfortable when they're unable to sing the songs during a service.
2. Some people just love organ music, and some people want a service with upbeat music. I think the instruments should be a secondary consideration, as neither the organ nor the guitar/keyboard stands alone to make a good singing experience.
3. Some traditional hymns are played too slowly, too fast, or the organ is too loud. Worshipers should be able to hear the singing along with the music.
4. Contemporary music is sometimes too loud, or the song choices are difficult to sing. Many contemporary Christians songs are meant to be performed, not sung in corporate worship.
5. But there are many singable contemporary songs that are rich in meaning.
6. Likewise, there are some traditional hymns that are difficult to sing.
7. Familiarity and repetition are good! Songs are learned that way, and they get into our very being when we learn them and sing them again and again.
But above all these thoughts - the songs should convey the gospel message, that Jesus, that our God, came in the flesh, lived among us, and died for the forgiveness of our sins and for our salvation. That's the substance of our faith that we need to hear, to sing, and to know.
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Colossians 3:16
