Stream of Consciousness and Praying

Right at this moment...what are you thinking about?  The day's work, an argument you had, finances, a doctor's appointment, your phone's battery?

Have you ever thought about "what you think about" throughout your day?


I recently finished reading The Sound and the Fury - a novel which I've attempted to read many, many times.  The Sound and the Fury is a "stream of consciousness" novel - a story that's told through someone's thoughts.  

The difficulty in reading a "stream of consciousness" novel is that the actual story line is "mixed-in" with all the other story-teller's "thoughts."  These "thoughts" might be past events, future events, dreams, conversations...just anything that's going on in the narrator's head.  

Reading these novels can be very confusing, as the story-teller's thoughts and focus are constantly shifting.

I've also been reading and studying Speaking the Truth in Love by David Powlison.  Powlison considers how, on a sleepless night, a person's thoughts are "all over the place."  He suggests that, at these times, a person should think on God's Word, and pray.

In considering Powlison's suggestion, I ask myself, "Is there a way that my daily 'stream of consciousness' can be spoken to God?"  In other words, I'd be addressing all my random and mixed thoughts to God.  

While I'm sure that's not totally possible, I know that I can do a better job of turning my thought life into prayers.

For instance...

- Instead of playing a relationship conflict over and over in my mind, I can tell the Lord what happened, pray to let go of the hurt, and pray for reconciliation.

- Instead of worrying through a problem, I can address the problem to the Lord and ask for His help.

- Instead of rehearsing an upcoming encounter, I can say to the Lord, "I think I should handle it this way..." and then explain to Him what I plan to say or do.  

I know that I'll have to continually "catch myself" when I start "stream of consciousness" thinking, and I'll have to make an effort to transform those thoughts into prayers.  

But I also know that praying to God is not as easy as it seems.  I can't just add a "Dear God" to my thought, because...as David says:

O LORD, you have searched me and known me...you discern my thoughts from afar..and are acquainted with all my ways. Psalm 139:1-3 

In standing before God's throne, I'm aware of my own sin.  I have to pray "without guile" because I can't deceive Him.  He knows me.  

And I'm forced to look at my own heart.  It requires effort and can be painful.  I don't like to admit my own guilt and shortcomings.  Who does?

But...Jesus.

He has taken that guilt away, and freed my heart to see clearly, to confess, and to love.

David ends that Psalm with:

Search me, O God, and know my heart!  Try me and know my thoughts!  And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! Psalm 139:23-24 

And the way He leads may seem painful, but He means it to be free and light.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:28-29 

Amen.

Weeds!

 We have a rather large backyard garden, with some herbs and tomato plants.  Most days, I spend a few minutes gardening, just to keep the weeds in check.  But recently, it rained and I was busy...and in a short time, the weeds had taken over.


Weeds just seem to "appear" from the ground, hidden, growing from nothing.  Without a gardener's vigilance, they take over gardens, lawns, cracks in sidewalks.

As I looked at the disarray in my garden, I thought of sin and God's Word.

Most days, I also spend time in Bible reading and prayer, and my Christian faith is nourished; as my faith grows, my sin, the weeds of my heart, are kept at bay.

But looking at that garden...I was reminded how quickly sin can take root and flourish.  Besides the abundance of small weeds, I also found two 3-foot tall intruders that had taken root; and I had trouble pulling them out.

Just as garden weeds are a constant battle, so, for the Christian, sin is a constant battle.  My heart is full of "seeds of sin" that are just waiting to sprout; and I'm not even aware of it.   

The Bible often speaks about seeds, sin, and weeds - see Matthew 13, The Parable of the Sower and The Parable of the Weeds.

The visual, of looking at that garden and those weeds, hit home with me.  No matter how hard "I try" to do it, I can't make myself, especially make my heart, be different.

But God's Word does.  His Word does what it says it will do.  It's like a weeding, a therapy session, a workout.  Sometimes it's not pleasant - most often it's not pleasant.

...so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it. Isaiah 55:11

His Word just works on me and my heart to keep sin from sprouting and taking over.  

At the same time, without me realizing what's happening, as the sin is dying, the fruit appears.   

One of my favorite prayers from Paul:

And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment,  so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God. Philippians 1:9-11 

  Amen.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2

Groot from Guardians of The Galaxy, Volume 2

My sister-in-law sent us Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2 hoping I'd write something about the movie, so I'm obliging.



"Guardians of the Galaxy" is a team of Marvel Comic heroes; and Guardians - Volume 2 is the second movie that features this group of characters.

Guardians - Vol 2 is an action-packed movie, filled with fighting, explosions, and impossible-to-survive situations.   

But the opening scene, with '70s pop music, sets the tone for this to be an enjoyable and lighthearted story.  And I like how the music continues throughout the movie, and enhances the story.

In thinking about life and faith from a Guardians' framework, I gleaned two truths from the story.

My favorite movie quote, that best portrays the Guardians' relationship with each other, is:

All any of you do is yell at each other.  You're not friends.

You're right, we're family.

I laughed!  How true...at least for my family.  At home, with just family, the mask is off.  We're family, and we fight.  We're free to say what's on our mind, yell at each other, and know that we're still loved.  

I think there's a lesson here for the church too.  The church is not a group of friends with masks on - it's a family of believers, acknowledged sinners, with messy relationships.

The Guardian theme that I appreciate is the humor associated with the tree-like person named Groot.  Groot is 10-inches tall, and not too bright.  However, the movie has two scenes in which Groot is expected to be the hero and "save the day."  

For the final battle, Groot is entrusted with placing and arming the "killer" explosive.  This is a funny scene, in which one character, knowing Groot is their only hope, playfully says, "We're all going to die." 

But little Groot comes through, and the Guardians save the Galaxy.

In thinking of Groot and his mission, I'm reminded of Christians and the gospel message.  The gospel is meant to save the world and...

...is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes...Romans 1:16

And, just like the Guardians trusted Groot with the killer explosive, God has entrusted His power, His gospel, to us Christians.  

And we're just like Groot - small, weak, not too bright.  And we get it wrong, at least I do.  But somehow, it works.  God uses even weak me to love and bring the gospel to the hurting, to bring people into His family, His church.

...not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful...But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.”                                  1 Corinthians 1:26-31

 

Rebuke me not in your anger?

I'm currently working through The Devotional Challenge Book by Pastor Bryan Wolfmueller.  The book is a 16-week daily workbook and is intended to help Christians "build strong devotional habits of daily hearing the Lord's Word and praying the Scriptures, back to God."




The 1st week's prayers start out easy with The Apostles' Creed, The Lord's Prayer, and Martin Luther's Morning or Evening Prayer.  During subsequent weeks, short Bible passages are added, and then whole chapters and various Psalms.

Along with the Bible readings, Pastor Wolfmueller includes:   
1) questions meant to help one think about the passage, and
2) instructions on praying the Psalms in your own words, starting with praying just one verse from that day's Psalm.

The other day, I read Psalm 6, one of the Penitential Psalms.

I read the Psalm a few times and was thinking about which verse I would be asked to pray.  Would it be:

Be gracious to me, O LORD, for I am languishing; heal me, O LORD, for my bones are troubled. Psalm 6:2

Or...

Turn, O LORD, deliver my life; save me for the sake of your steadfast love. Psalm 6:4 

In fact, I read through the Psalm, praying almost all the verses, in my own words.

Then, I read the assignment - "Pray verse 1."

O LORD, rebuke me not in your anger, nor discipline me in your wrath.  Psalm 6:1 

What?  Rebuke me not...nor discipline me?  That doesn't sound fun or comforting.  How do I pray that?

I wrote the verse down to spend some time thinking about it. 

The next couple of days, I kept thinking, "Don't be mad at me or mean to me.  Don't be mad or mean."

But why? Do I need to pray that?

When faced with God's law and my position, my only response is despair.  In fact, my conscience knows my own guilt and God's anger.

And it came to me:  Luke 18 - Jesus' parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector.  

But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!” Luke 18:13

Of all the things and people I could pray for, including good situations and good relationships...really, it's God's mercy that I need to pray for, His forgiveness, His love...which bring me His peace, no matter the situation.  

"Forgive me for my sins which deserve punishment, not mercy.  Don't be mad at me.  Don't be mean to me."   

And He answers my prayer...

All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.  2 Corinthians 5:18-19 

The Sinner and Dirty Rifles

When I was a Marine Officer, serving as a Series Commander at Parris Island, the recruits received infantry field training, which included firing blank rounds from the M16 rifle.

A "blank" is a bullet casing that contains gunpowder, but has no projectile. 

And firing blanks causes carbon residue to quickly build up in the barrel, making it difficult to clean.

A major part of the recruits' final inspection was for the series rifles to be clean enough to return to the armory. 

So, every series my drill instructors would make grand plans and spend precious time cleaning rifles, hoping the rifles would pass inspection.  And they never did.  

Always, after every Battalion Commander's inspection, we'd scramble, reschedule training, and spend an afternoon at the armory cleaning weapons.  

Finally, I got smart.  I told the drill instructors to spend a fair amount of time on the rifles, and no more.  Instead they spent time on other aspects of the inspection.   

This worked.  The rifles were still dirty; we still had to schedule extra cleaning.  But we started receiving positive comments on other parts of the inspection.  

I often think of this when I consider tasks and priorities.  

But it just dawned on me that a dirty rifle barrel is just like our old Adam.  

Even though, as Christians, we are born again, given the Spirit in Baptism, and not under condemnation, that dirty sin still clings to us and won't go away, just like carbon in a barrel.  

For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Romans 7:15

No amount of my effort or my will can make my sin nature be clean.  In fact, oftentimes, the more I try to be and do better, the more I notice my own sin, the blackness of my heart.  

For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.  Romans 7:18-19

Martin Luther correctly states what the apostle Paul is saying here about himself - that our nature is, at the same time, both saint and sinner.   

And by recognizing the sinner, I also recognize and rejoice in the work of Christ, who gives me His righteousness and gives me that other title - saint.

And in recognizing and rejoicing, at some point, I just have to "put up with myself" and not get caught up in something I can't fix, and turn my focus to stuff that needs to get done.  

And that stuff that needs to get done - loving and serving others.

You shall love your neighbor as yourself.  Mark 12:31

...whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.  Mark 10:43-45

Don't Be Tricked

I just heard an ad on the radio for a financial business and it went like this:

Do you have large credit card debt that you can't pay?  Don't let the credit card companies trick you and make you think you have to pay.  We can save you money.  Don't be tricked.

I cracked up!  The message is saying, "You can buy whatever you want, spend all the money you want...doesn't matter.  You don't really have to pay for what you buy."  

October 31, 2017, marks the 500th Anniversary of the Reformation.  As I heard that radio ad, it occurred to me that the Reformation had and still has the same message - Don't be tricked.

First, don't be tricked into believing that sin doesn't cost, that you can sin with impunity.  

For the wages of sin is death...Romans 6:23

It started with Adam.  His sin led to disease, decay, death.  It's the reason for the messed-up world that we live in.  Don't be tricked into thinking that you can do whatever you want, that you can just pursue your own happiness and all will be well. 

...there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.  Romans 3:22-23

Second, don't be tricked into believing that you have the ability to pay for your sins.    

Before the Reformation, Martin Luther recognized that people were being misled into thinking that their own good works could somehow make up for their sin, or that they could make monetary payments for sin.

Works and money can't save.

For all who rely on works of the law are under a curse; for it is written, “Cursed be everyone who does not abide by all things written in the Book of the Law, and do them.” Galatians 3:10

Third - It's not a trick!  That's the good news. 

For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.                 1 Corinthians 1:18 

You can't do anything to earn or buy your salvation.  It's free.

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

And it's given by grace through faith based on blood, the blood of Jesus. 

...knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot.  1 Peter 1:18-19 

It may seem foolish, but it's not a trick.

Packing Heat

As a Marine Lieutenant stationed at Camp Pendleton, I was often assigned a 24-hour shift as Area Guard Officer.  At Pendleton's 12/14 Area, I was required to check-out and carry a pistol while on duty.  I thought nothing of it, since wearing the pistol was required.

So when I transferred to the 24 Area at Pendleton,  and was again assigned Guard Officer duty, I checked-out a pistol from the Guard Armory and strapped it on. 

The Marines on 24 Area Guard were puzzled, thought I was a bit too "gung ho."  None of the other officers wore a pistol, and standard procedures for that area didn't require the Guard Officer to be armed.

But my own Marines, from my Supply Office, were delighted.  Once, while on duty, I ate with them at the chow hall, and they were proud that their Lieutenant was "carrying a pistol."

Truth be told, while on duty, I didn't feel properly dressed or equipped without that pistol.   

Fast forward to the Christian life...

As Christians, no matter our calling, we are always "on duty."  We continually face challenges and are open and vulnerable to sin, Satan, and the evils of this world.  

Likewise, we continually have opportunities for good, to do good works.

But we don't need to carry a "pistol" or some type of religious object.  We are fully equipped, although we may not think so, and we most often aren't even aware of it. 

We have His Word:

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 

 We have prayer:

 ...and call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me. Psalm 50:15

We have His Spirit:

You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you. John 14:17 

And more: His truth, righteousness, salvation, gifts and talents...Our Lord promises us many times that we are not alone, that He will be with us and equip us.  He gives us all we need, all standard issue, to carry out His work.

And just like the Marines who noticed my pistol, the world sees something different and takes notice of us Christians when we walk in faith.   

We know today that many people will and do respond to us in anger.  And some are just puzzled as to why we are the way we are.  

But our fellow Christians are encouraged.  And those people who need to hear the message of Jesus, who need to know that their sins are forgiven...they'll respond, be comforted, and believe.